Take Me To Post Comment Form Went down to Atlantaland recently to celebrate life and forget death with some dear friends. They called it a “decades party."

All the dandy young thangs arrived in their disco-days finest. The dudes weren’t into it as much, but they/we tried. I just wore what I always do: leftovers from the 60s. (Or was it the 70s?)

Soon as I arrived I was handed a beer and was ushered around to meet new friends. There was joyous, raucous laughter and fun throughout the happy house.

No, not a bunch of drunks. Real people. Who love and care for one another and who watch one another’s backs and who protect one another. Maybe more so than anyone you’ll ever meet. Ever.


The lady who threw the party is a woman I love and adore. Beautiful and smart. Half my age with a boyfriend twice my size. Doesn’t matter. It’s not illicit nor is it anything to be ashamed of. I love her. Always will. The kind of person who comes into your life and it’s never the same afterward.

It’s obvious that my friend and The Boyfriend are in love. As she once said, “With all my heart."


As the party rolled on I was talking to The Boyfriend, who’d been cooking hot dogs and hamburgers for so long he was fried. He was tired of it, frankly. He had cooked more food than was ever going to be eaten and he was ready to stop. But he kept going, muttering a bit.

Not knowing him all that well, I said something like, “Better not stop. You might lose points."

Then I smiled a harmless smile to let him know I wasn’t trying to be harsh or judgmental. Kinda like popping a smiley face into an e-mail so it won’t be taken wrong.

:}


What I said to him was the result of my own hang-ups, not his. With apologies to John Lennon, the love you take is NOT equal to the love you make. Love isn’t like that. Sorry. Sometimes love is more like paddling a sinking boat against a strong current with one dang paddle, hoping to survive.


So after I warned my friend about losing points,

he just stops. Pauses.

Looks me in the eye and says to me

slowly

without anger or harshness
or snarkiness
or hostility

or arrogance or pride,


“I don’t lose points."


What a GREAT line.


And I'm sure he's right.

So is he.



When you’re loved, you don’t lose points.

And you know it.

And when you love, you don’t deduct them either...



I guess.